Do’s and Don'ts of Having Fulfilling Relationships
You and your partner have a good and healthy relationship, but is it a fulfilling one? Having a fulfilling relationship is the key to staying together “‘till death do us part.” You want a long-term commitment, one that leads to growing old together, but the obstacles in your path may deter you from reaching your goal.
Overcoming your obstacles, as a couple, can steer you in the right direction again. For you to get there, you must familiarize yourself with the do’s and don’ts of maintaining a fulfilling relationship. Knowing what you should and should not do to live together in harmony plays a crucial role in the success of your relationship.
The Recipe for a Healthy and Fulfilling Relationship
Every relationship is made from different ingredients, hence, comparing your relationship to another couple’s relationship is fruitless. You came together because you clicked. You have a healthy and fulfilling relationship because of two things: You share a common goal for how you want the relationship to be like and the direction you want to take the relationship.
This brings you both on the same page. What are the ingredients to having a healthy and fulfilling relationship? To have a rewarding relationship, you need a recipe of living it by knowing the ingredients you should and should not put in it.
The Do's of a Fulfilling Relationship
1. Maintain a Meaningful Emotional Connection
Make each other feel emotionally fulfilled and loved. Feeling loved means your partner accepts and values you. They completely understand and get you. You do not want to exist for each other for the sake of coexisting. You want to be emotionally available for each other. Having an emotional connection will close the distance between you and your partner.
2. Welcome Respectful Disagreements
Two ways that couples handle and address disagreements is either quietly talking things through or raising their voices to get the point across. Regardless of the manner you handle conflicts, ensure you do it in a respectful manner and, most importantly, never be afraid of conflict. You need to feel safe to express yourself to your partner, not fearful of how they might retaliate. Together, aim to find solutions to conflicts without degradation, humiliation, or insisting on being right.
3. Maintain Outside Relationships, Hobbies, and Interests
Your partner cannot meet all your needs and you cannot meet theirs. So, having these unrealistic expectations puts unnecessary strain on each other. Surprisingly, to keep the spark alive, you need to keep outside relationships, hobbies, and interests alive. Do not let your relationship with your partner consume you so much that you end up losing your identity. Stay connected with your friends and family and continue doing what you love outside of your relationship.
4. Strive for Honest and Open Communication
Honest and open communication is one of the most important ingredients in any relationship — whether it is with your partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend. When two people can comfortably express their fears, needs, and desires with each other, it strengthens the bond and increases the trust between two people.
5. Focus on the Positives
No one is perfect. Neither you nor your partner is perfect. Everyone has negative qualities about them, but the reason you are with each other is that the positive qualities clearly outweigh the negative ones. When you have a disagreement or argument, it is human nature to think of the negatives first and put the positives on the burner.
When you focus on the negatives, the relationship cannot progress forward. Whenever you feel like your relationship is being threatened, consciously and intentionally tell each other what you like about each other, why you still want to be together, and how you can resolve the situation as quickly as possible.
The Don’ts of a Fulfilling Relationship
1. Playing on Your Partner’s Weaknesses
Do not play on their weaknesses, but always reiterate their strengths. By constantly telling them what they are doing wrong, you are decreasing their motivation to do anything right. You are crushing their confidence by always pointing out the wrong in them. Instead, sit down with them to discuss how they can do things differently in the relationship.
2. Getting Revenge on Your Partner
Taking revenge for what your partner may have done wrong is petty. You want to steer clear of the cycle of revenge — you take revenge, they take revenge, you, them, and so on. Always treat them the way you want them to treat you, regardless of how they act towards you.
3. Blowing Things Out of Proportion
Practice mindfulness. Sit down alone to reflect on the entire situation, before you throw a tantrum or have a meltdown. Never assume or overthink a situation before talking to your partner. Do not let your fears and insecurities catch up with you. When you feel a situation is too overwhelming, ask yourself if it is worth risking your entire relationship.
4. Acting Out of Desperation
Before you make any decision, think through it several times before you go through with it. Acting out of desperation only leads to more desperation. Sometimes, people get so desperate for their partner to change that they go as far as to threaten divorce or a breakup. In your mind, you think offering an ultimatum will force them to change, but in the event they agree, it will make you feel worse, as that is not what you really intended. In short, do not let your emotions get the best of you.
If nothing works and you want to improve your relationship, you can always seek marriage or couples counseling at Mind Wellness Counseling. It can help you work through conflict and come to a resolution. If both of you are willing, a counselor can help you add the right ingredients to your relationship. Contact us today!